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Where Obsurdity is the NORM
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Welcome to the pages of BOB. BOB is an organization made for those of you out there who find the unknown cool and the weird funny. If you are not one of these people, and you read on, I accept no responsibilty for any feelings you get as a result of reading these pages
However, if you are one of these people who indulge in the odd and unusual, read on and if you decide you want to join our organization, e-mail me.
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BOB was started by my step-brother and myself awhile back and unfortunately, due to some domestic disagreements, the organization was obliterated. I am resurrecting the group with hopes that same dilemma will not repeat itself. I am relocated approximately 500 miles from the original location of BOB, so the person who had a problem with BOB can no longer have a say. If you want to join, you must go through a series of tests. The tests aren't too brain straining just in case you feeble-minded folk out there want to join, too. Click here to go straight to the tests and application form, otherwise, keep reading.
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BOB
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Where the Hell did BOB Come From, Anyway?
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BOB was at one time a primate. It is unclear at the moment, though we have pictures, what species of primate he is. Many of the original founders believed he was a new genus that was somewhere in between Homo-sapiens and Primates. Anyway, now he is in the form of a coconut, which, if rubbed the right way, will reveal the face of a monkey-like creature. The story goes that one day, not so long ago, a couple were walking the beaches of Hawaii when they came across a coconut. Little did they know, this wasn't any ordinary coconut. But we'll get to that later. They decided after close observation of the fruit that it wasn't worth keeping, so they threw it far into the woods. As soon as they did that a native jumped from the bushes and waved his arms in the air wildly and started speaking in a strange language. The honeymooners thought nothing of it and walked on into the sunset. Little did the lovers know the indian had just swore his soul would inhabit the coconut they threw and they would take it home so he could haunt them forever. You see, the coconut they threw was the holy object of the Shalmikedmoo tribe the native belonged to. Meanwhile, in the marketplace located just on the other side of the thin patch of forest, a man was hit on the head by a large object and was knocked out. Soon after he came to. Nothing seemed broken. He checked his cloth underwear, the only thing he was wearing ( except , of course, his turbin) and he hadn't been robbed. Luckily he was in the most unpopulated village on the island. He looked around on the ground for what hit him and he saw a coconut laying on the ground before him. He picked it up and wiped the sand and dirt off of it. As he did so he thought he saw the image of a monkey appear on the fruit he held. He recalled the band of marching moneys in pink tutus he had already seen and assumed this too was apart of the delusions. But, just for kicks and giggles, he decided to take it home and carve the image he saw into the side of the coconut. He took it to market the next day and a pair of newly weds came up to his booth, "Excuse me, sir, I was wondering if you knew anywhere we could find a toy for our son, would you?". The salesman said he didn't know anywhere and he held up the newly carved coconut. He said that the object he held was all he had that a child would find any interest in. The newlyweds looked at each other and decided to buy it. One the way back to the town they were staying they heard a rustling noise coming from a bush nearby. The woman hid behind her husband and told him to throw the coconut at it. He did and he guessed he hit whatever was making the noise because it never was heard again. When they got back to town a couple of hours later they packed their bags. This would be their last night alone(OooLaLa!!!) The next day as they were leaving the resort they saw a newspaper by the registration desk. On it was a picture of a native. The caption read "NATIVE SLAUGHTERED BY MANIACAL TOURISTS". The two looked at each other again and walked quickly to their car and drove as fast as they could to the airport. They were very happy to be home. The husband gave their son the coconut and he promptly took it to his room and used it as a monster invading a town. The kid was smashing cars and slamming the coconut down on the buildings and people he created with his Legos. Soon his parents broke up and his mother got a new boyfriend. Her boyfriend had a son and the two got a long very well. They talked about everything and one day the coconut was brought up in conversation. The new boy, Jesse, was curious about the oddly mis-shapen coconut. After hearing all about the coconut, the two decided to name it. They decided to call it Bob. They had absolutely no idea why they called it that, but that's what happened. One night Jesse couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed and then got up and walked around his room. He saw the coconut and held it in his hand. The shell of the coconut was shedding and rough. He ran his hand along the back of Bob when a monkey's face mystically appeared. It said to Jesse,
"Hey, man, that felt cool" and then it disappeared. Jesse was afraid to tell anyone for fear everyone would think him more of a weirdo then they already did. But one day he told his step-brother and he beleived Jesse. He didn't know why, but he did. And so, with nothing else in mind. They decided to make a club revolving around the coconut. And that is where I come in. I am Jesse, and I am going to try to reconstruct the organization of BOB. Almost all of the things made for BOB, official papers, initiation tests, applications, member bio's, just about everything, was destroyed. The group was over. No one dared to try to remake the documents because no one knew who destroyed everything. So the group seperated and nothing was ever said about BOB again. Until now. I need people to help me bring BOB back into existance. If you want to help, if you are crazy enough, bold enough, and smart enough to not take what ideas are expressed here seriously, then contact me through e-mail and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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